363 articles
Asshole contracts COVID-19 from Licking Toilet Seat Young Larz just wanted girls to notice and like him. That was the reason he gave, for licking a toilet seat, during a bedside interview recently. Larz, as it seems, is an INCEL and has never been able to get a date with a live person, and that’s […]
Women’s Coronavirus Challenge What we are seeing in this video clip is called “whores.” A whore will do anything for money or attention; that is, as long as it doesn’t require any book-learnin’ or education or anything that the studious classes of toil have to do. Most (all?) of what a whore does is fundamentally […]
OMG — the chineez!! I’m pretty sure the chineez have likely hijacked my cartoon ideas for the next… let’s just say for however long their pandemic affliction lingers around. Yessirree, folks, not since Nazi German has a nation taken such a crap on — THE ENTIRE WORLD! Xìe-xie nín, Zhōng Húa Rén Mín Gúo Gōng […]
Advisory: intermittent strong language Oh, my God… the Chinese! Muricans have typically made for some crappy tourists in other countries. But sports fans move over and make way for the new Patron Saints of awfully-behaved people visiting other countries — the Chinese! For all of modern history, the Chinese have been hard-driven to be the […]
If the U.S. Department of Defense (DoD) is at all a touchstone for us regarding the gravity of a situation, then it is noteworthy that the Pentagon has imposed DoD-wide travel restrictions for all of the personnel and their families. It was never to say that the military should be exempt from precautions and measures […]
Marijuana causes man’s erection to last as long as 12 hours I’m put soundly in mind of TV advertisements for Viagra and Cialis and the sort. At the end of the commercial, a couple of medical caveats were injected, one admonishing those with hypertension to not use the drug, and the other one to the […]
“Winchester” is the indicator used between aircraft that one’s gunship is out of useable ammunition. A fuel shortage is communicated by the word “Bingo” whereby an aircraft much break station and return to base or Forward Arming and Refuelling Point (FARP) for more fuel. While a Bingo gunship must leave the action, a Winchester gunship […]
Man threatens to blow self and car up next to Pentagon This is a non-story. It’s a story that isn’t. It’s jackass journalism. This probably started out as: “Man has barricaded himself in his car next to the Pentagon, but he is not making any demands and nobody is paying any attention to him.” Why […]
Body of dumpster diving woman found This story is the hands-down winner of the “so many questions” award in the Oddities Category. There is nothing of what I originally thought there would be in this story. It is likely that my version of dumpster diving had already been shaped by my depth of exposure around […]
COVID-19, CO = “Corona”, meaning “crown,” VI = Virus, D = Disease, discovered in (20) 19 — COVID-19. This below video appeared in circulation last week; I was made aware of it just a few days ago. At face value for many of us it was rather shocking as it was coupled with the following […]
The venerable SOFREP would like to dust off a tradition from just a couple of years past — the Weekend News Roundup. The Managing Editor, Stavros, tossed a dart at a group photo of us staff writers/contributing editors, and it stuck square in my (dominant) right eye. Being the first on the chopping block I […]
Big Steve Balestrieri and Alex Hollings have a good deal in common, not the least of which is you wouldn’t want any part of either one of them in a beef. But like most of my brothers, they are both genuinely nice guys with sterling personalities and manners. I suppose that this is why I […]